Dane Legrand Coates

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

-- Rajneesh

On Thursday, August 14, 2008 Dane Legrand Coates made his dramatic entrance into the world. The moment I saw his perfect little body and his perfect little eyes, I cried tears of joy. Joy that he was healthy, joy that he was finally here, and joy that the waiting was over.

Almost one year and one month before Dane's birth, our little family huddled around an ultrasound screen in Dr. Lepetich's office, looking at a lifeless little body. I was 16 weeks pregnant, had already heard the heartbeat numerous times, felt movement, and started showing. We decided to bring the kids that time because we thought it would be fun for them to hear the heartbeat. To our dismay, there wasn't one. "This can't be, you are too far along", Dr. L. said. But it was true. They believe that it was a cord problem. We will never know. The days and weeks following were some of the most dark that I have ever experienced. The only thing that got me through those endless moments was knowledge of my Heavenly Father and my eternal companion not leaving my side.

When we found out that Dane was coming, there was mixed elation and fear. I was affraid to become attached for fear of losing the baby again. We didn't even find out the sex of the baby until he was born. The pregancy turned out to be difficult, unlike all of my others. I was put on progesterone because of bleeding early on. I had to take multiple tests to make sure the baby was still alive. I was exposed to Fifths Disease, and had to take special tests for that. I experienced several ultrasounds and extra tests because of my "Advanced Maternal Age" (36yrs.). It was almost too much emotion for me to bare after the previous miscarriage.

Then, exactly two weeks before Dane was due, Dr. Lepetich calmly said to me, "Monica, your baby is breech." "Oh", I replied. "So was Tyler and he turned himself a week before." Dr. Lepetich shook his head and said, "No, this time is different. You have almost no amniotic fluid. This is extremely dangerous for both you and your baby. Do you want a C-Section today, or tomorrow?" Another curveball. You know me, I'm a planner. This did not sit well. I sat there and cried for a while, looking at the brochure about all of the horrible things that can happen during a breech delivery. Would the baby be O.K.? Where would my kids go? What would I do with all of the Cub Scouts coming to my house that night to learn about the solar system? Panic.

So, I went home, had Cub Scouts, called a good friend to ask what exactly goes on during a C-Section, packed my bags, and showed up the next day. From the moment he was born Dane has been the love of our lives. He is easy going and loving. He walks around the house saying, "Ma!" most of the day. He is a cuddler. He loves his brothers and doesn't know that he is only one year old. Dane will get right on the trampoline with them, run out onto the football field with them, and even tries to tackle them. He is a wonderful finale to our family of boys. We love you SO much Dane! What a perfect miracle you truly are!

Only a mother knows the love that she has for her babies. We are their fierce defenders and protectors from the moment we know that they are there, even if they are only as big as a grain of sand. From the experience that I have written above, I learned that God is the only one in control. We may think we are, but we are not. These babies, no matter how we get them, are gifts. Though we may have to go through total darkness to get them here, it is always worth it in the end. What an awesome responsibility we have in raising them.